If you are anything like some of the flatmates I have had past and present you will no doubt have learnt the art of not cleaning. Yes maybe you have had the sudden motivation to clean only because someone important like a parent or a "buddy" is coming over and you don't want to show you live like a slob.
But for the most part, cleaning is almost a sinful activity for you. You'd rather be doing something worth-while with your time like, lying on the bed counting sheep.
However, when it comes to being forced to clean, there are 3 ways to get out of doing it forever!
1) You find someone to live with who's a clean freak, basically a Monica. Everything has to be clean 24/7. The Monica's have a certain way of cleaning, if its not done in their way its not done properly.
2) When being asked to clean something minor, i.e. a cup, you make a big fuss about it and come up with an excuse, "Oh I have an essay which needs to be handed in in the next 10 minutes and I haven't started yet" and do the "sudden realisation panic attack" look. However there is a time when this fails
3) You do a terrible job of cleaning. And I mean really terrible, pathetic even. This really irritates the Monica's a lot! Pretend you're a robot and you're running low on battery and the only function you can do properly is breathe and doing anything else is a massive compromise. If done correctly, you will only have to repeat this stage on average 3 times and will never be asked again.
Note of Caution
- Please note the Monica, whether it be your friend or parent may go into a fit of rage but usually finding a way into their soft spot will prevent that.
- Whatever you do, DO NOT use the phrase "it's not my mess why should I clean it" or anything similar. This will enrage a Monica and you will regret it! Unless you want to hear a massive long rant, I'd advise against it.
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