The Seagull

Seagulls. Some may think they're pretty but I think of them as rats with wings.

I have never liked seagulls. When I was little, they didn't really bother me that much, but that was because I lived in the country. But when I stayed in the town, they're constant squawking, day and night, was a pain. They never shut up! And I'd bet anything if there was an apocalypse they would survive...well them and cockroaches.

Apart from the constant squawking (the chicks are the worst for that) I hate that they're always there. You can't eat anything outside because they swoop down and basically attack you and steal your food. Or follow you around. One would circle you and call in reinforcements and the next thing you'd know you're surrounded by the f****rs

I mean, who died and made them Queens of the Sky? Think they can do whatever they want! One of my friends, this tiny little cute woman, was telling me the time when a seagull went to steal her food and it was dark so when it suddenly swooped down to steal her food her automatic response was to punch it! Good on her I say!

What I really hate is when people feed seagulls. Why? There's tonnes of them, and the way they'd thank you would be to poo on you (Which I'm sure is everyone's fear). Whoever said that a bird pooing on you was good luck probably made that up on the spot so he (or she) wouldn't look completely stupid in front of their friends and something good just happened straight after.

More signs should be like this - to the point

However there was a time when I did feel sorry for a seagull. My sister and I were looking out of a window where I worked and saw a seagull get run over. If that wasn't traumatising enough, a man casually walked up to it and broke its neck before tossing it in the water for the other seagulls to eat.

What a nice wee story to finish this post don't ya think...