The Cooking Calamity

As you may know by now from previous posts, when it comes to cooking I'm no Gordan Ramsey. However, as of late, I hadn't had any cooking disasters and was finally beginning to feel confident about cooking. I even managed to learn how to use the oven properly (its only taken me 10 months!)

Two days ago, after an exhausting shift at work and a long walk home, I decided it would be nice to make myself a nice warm meal. Nothing complicated, just oven chips and fish. So, I switched the oven on and began the pre-heating sequence. I thought while it was heating up, I would watch some TV on the internet (watching Pokemon from the beginning :) )

After about half an hour I went through into the kitchen to put the food in the oven. As soon as I walked into the room, I instantly knew I had cocked up royally as the room was all smokey. I rushed over to the oven and opened the door and thats when the whole of the smoke came raging out. Turns out, I had left a tray with tin foil in it in the oven and it started to burn. I wasn't really that panicked at first because this had happened to me before, but when the smoke started to burn the back of my throat, alarm bells started ringing.

Oops...

I quickly rushed over to the window to try and open it, but because there was empty bottles in front of the window and the window being behind the sink and a shelf, it was quite difficult. And that's when the fire alarms went off. Now I was beginning to panic. Frantically, I started dumping the bottles into the sink and threw myself over the sink to open the window, which I eventually did. Now choking, I realized I probably should have switched the oven off first but at the time I thought taken the tray out would have been enough.

I began praying that the smoke would go our of the window and the fire alarms would go off. Then I thought to myself;

What if the fire engines come?
What if my building has to be evacuated?
What am I going to say to them?
Why did I have to cook when I know I'm crap at it?

As I was thinking all of that I was running around the house with a dish towel and batting it against the fire alarm. I don't know why, but I remember my granny used to do it and it worked for her.

Luckily, at 2.15am, my 10 minutes of pure terror was over, the alarms had gone off.

20 minutes later, I decided it would be ok to cook my food.

I still managed to burn it ¬¬

The Thunder Storm

For the past few weeks. thunder storms seems to becoming a norm in Edinburgh. Even though most people are scared of thunder storms, I have to say I love them. I love how just before a storm hits, the rain gets really heavy and the sky gets darker and then the roar from the thunder comes and the sky lights up. It's so exciting!

I remember ages ago back in Shetland there was a really bad thunder storm and the sky turned really dark during the day. So my Mam rushed around the house switching off everything and unplugging everything in the house at the first sign of a storm, quite funny to watch actually (and I find myself doing exactly the same thing now!). So we were watching the lightning light up the sky and then saw it strike one of the wind turbines up on the hill. It was pretty exciting seeing the smoke rise from the turbine.

Although saying that, all the rain and the storms and the excitement of watching it does wear down after a while. After 2 weeks (or what feels like 2 weeks) of nothing but rain I can't help but wonder, will we have a sunny summer? In the mean time - get your brollies out!

Life Aboard a 14 hour Boat Journey (From Aberdeen to Shetland)

I wish I was making my title up but it's true. Like many islanders who can't always afford the luxery of flying back home everytime they travel I had to take the boat. Now, the boat wouldn't be a bad thing if we weren't trapped on it for 4 hours or something like that, but after 14 hours stuck on a boat, you begin to feel resentment about where you live... well I certainly did.

Last Monday, after already travelling for 3 hours on a bus from Edinburgh to Aberdeen, I decided the best way to tackle the idea of being imprisioned on that boat for the next half a day would be to get drunk, which is exactly what I did once I met up with a few volunteers who were also willing to get drunk, just for the hell of it.

Luckily, I had only gotten to the super happy drunk stage and pratically skipped onto the boat, I was ready to tackle this challenge head on. As the boat set sail, I noticed what everyone else was doing. Some were enjoying a meal in the restaurant, some where outside basking in the sun getting a tan and taking in the breath taking views. I however, was trying to keep my signal from dying so I could text a few friends.

After having a meal and a cheeky White Zinfadel to wash it down I decided to wander around the boat. Even though I had taken this journey only 4 times before (although it seems like hundreds) I had hoped it may pass the time a little... it didn't. I decided to find a quiet place to get some sleep, hoping when I woke up, I would be back in Shetland,

Unfortunately that didn't quite plan out. We hadn't even reached Orkney yet and there I was, bright eyed and bushy tailed and had absolutely nothing to do. So I listened to music and tried sleeping again.

The 14 (and a half) hour journey

When I woke up a few hours later, we had finally arrived at Orkney. Only 6 or more hours to go until I was able to get off the boat.
When both my mp3 player and my phone decided to run out of battery when we were somewhere between Orkney and Shetland, thats when the real boredom began. No music, no T.V., no phone and still a good few more hours of travelling left. So enter the slot machines.

After wasting a significant amount of money on the machines and managing to get a few more hours of sleep, I was finally on the last leg of journey. Only 2 more hours left!

The most annoying thing about the journey is when you see your destination on the horizon, but you feel trapped and wish you could get there.

As we got closer to Shetland, the boat seemed to come back to life. People were awoken to the smell of breakfast and things got exciting at least for a short while. As the boat was docking, the reception area became crowded off people and luggage all waiting to get off the boat. The next few minutes seem to go on forever but as soon as they open that doors, everyone charges towards the door and it's every man for himself.

I get to repeat this journey in under 12 hours time...

The Easter Bunny

With Easter just right around the corner (on the same day as my sister's birthday too!) I decided this post should be dedicated to Easter, or more specific , the Easter Bunny.

Now, when I was younger I never even heard of the Easter Bunny until I went to school. Sure every Easter I would get a ton of Easter eggs (those were the days) but I never knew anything about a rabbit that supposedly delivered them. I had no idea why a rabbit was associated with Easter eggs. No-one I knew seemed to know the answer either.

Until Today.

I've decided to do some research on the Easter Bunny

Thank god for the internet and more importantly, Google

"The Easter bunny has its origin in pre-Christian fertility lore. The Hare and the Rabbit were the most fertile animals known and they served as symbols of the new life during the Spring season.

The bunny as an Easter symbol seems to have it's origins in Germany, where it was first mentioned in German writings in the 1500s. The first edible Easter bunnies were made in Germany during the early 1800s. These were made of pastry and sugar.

The Easter bunny was introduced to American folklore by the German settlers who arrived in the Pennsylvania Dutch country during the 1700s. The arrival of the "Oschter Haws" was considered "childhood's greatest pleasure" next to a visit from Christ-Kindel on Christmas Eve. The children believed that if they were good the "Oschter Haws" would lay a nest of colored eggs

The children would build their nest in a secluded place in the home, the barn or the garden. Boys would use their caps and girls their bonnets to make the nests . The use of elaborate Easter baskets would come later as the tradition of the Easter bunny spread through out the country."

See you learn something new everyday!

Hope everyone has a good Easter :)

Oh this pic makes me laugh!

The Wasp

Yesterday I was awoken by a loud buzzing noise. Not wanting to get out of bed though, I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep. But as time wore on, the buzzing started to really piss me off. So, throwing the covers off myself, I stormed to my window only to discover it was a wasp. Not any old wasp, the biggest wasp I had ever seen!

Oh course, my first reaction was to scream and rush to Siân's room and get her to kill it. She was having none of it though and kicked me out of her room. So, gathering up some courage, I went back to my room to see if I could catch it.

So with a glass in one hand and a piece of cardboard in the next, I slowly walked towards the window. I could hear the wasp buzzing angrily from behind the curtains. I knew if I didn't catch it on the first go, I was screwed. After gathering some more courage, I decided to pull back the curtain.

That's when everything slowed down. The wasp was ponding against the window as my arm stretched out to capture it. Fortunately for me, I managed to catch it first time around. Then, quickly sliding some cardboard under the glass, I proceeded to go and show Siân the size of the fucker!

The biggest Wasp I have EVER seen!
(Click pic to enlarge)

To say she was freaked out as much as I was was an understatement. We both peered into the glass before setting it down on the table, as we were too scared to release it.

Siân "What if it escapes?"
Me "Siân, it's in a glass, how can it escape?"

Siân "I've seen spiders escape from glass before."

*Puts candle on top of glass*

Siân "It doesn't seem heavy enough"

Me "Get the tape"

Yes maybe a tad bit dramatic, but we decided for our own safety, we would have to put a little bit of tape to the bottom of the glass so the wasp wouldn't escape. Even when the wasp would fall from the top of the glass to the bottom, we would jump right out of our skins. And for the remainder of the day, every time it fell, we would let out a little squeak and jump.

 Eventually, we both gained enough courage to go outside and release the wasp. Of course this involved slowly opening the tape and dropping the glass in the bin and running like fuck.

I'm coming out...

Not out of the closet, I pranced out of there a few years back. I have an(other) addiction. Nope its not cigarettes, or champagne... or the internet...

lI didn't mean too, it just happened. It's work's fault! I developed a craving which, kinda turned into an addiciton.

I am addicted.... to Irn Bru.

It all started so innocently, as most addictions do. It all started when I was looking at the vending machine and thought to myself, oh, Irn Bru, I haven't had that in ages.

It went down hill from there.

I didn't really notice I had developed a serious Irn Bru craving until, one of my colleagues asked me how many cans I have a day. On good days its four, on bad days its more (like my rhyme?) That's only 20 cans a week, which is... 80 cans a month. God I need help! But at 60p a can, who cares?

The day I realised I had an addiction to Irn Bru was the day my door to the locker rooms got jammed. On the day I decided not to have a can before work.

Since we couldn't get in, I had to drink plain water with my break. I had unintentionally gone into cold turkey mode, but after the "I can quit" phase has run out and you desperately want your fix.

However, a few hours passed and I started feeling better. Maybe I could work a whole shift without needing Irn Bru. I announced to my colleagues that I may have kicked my habit. A few seconds later, someone told me the locker door was working and like a flash, I was at the vending machine getting some Irn Bru.

Old habits die hard eh?

P.S. Who else loves the Irn Bru Christmas advert? It's just not Christmas without that advert ^.^

Saturday (The Next Day)

This post is sort of a part 2 to the last one, When Champagne Thursday Met Friday.

On Saturday morning, I woke up with a jump. I was sure I was late for work so I basically jumped across the room to check the time on my mobile. It was 6am. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. That was when the hungover prevention gene kicked in.

Must. Drink. Water.

Slowly, I stumbled out of my room and into the kitchen and poured myself a pint of water. I downed it then and there, but it didn't quench my thirst. So I had more... and more. While standing at the kitchen sink, downing my water, flashbacks of downing my vodka and coke pints came flooding back. The next step of the hungover prevention gene was to find food.

Everyone has told themselves this lie before

Its funny how when hungover, everything goes back to basics. I think it's because you are too unable to do anything else but eat, drink and sleep.

Luckily, I had bought a loaf of bread the day before and it hadn't been opened yet. Lucky for me, but not for the bread. I decided toast would be the best way to go. Unfortunately for me, my toaster only has two slots in it, so I basically stood over the toaster and when it popped up, I buttered it and put more in. And repeat cycle a few times. Before I knew it, I only had 4 slices left.

So I decided the next step in preventing my hangover would be to watch some Will & Grace and have a wee nap.

A few hours later...

I woke up feeling well rested and fabulous, despite looking it. I was ready to go to work and kick major ass. After getting ready for work, Keith & Sian told me what they had gotten up to after I had "flown the co-op". They had told me they ended up at our neighbours and stayed there for a while and got super drunk. They were even sick when they got back (lovely).

Work went ok up until a certain point. It wasn't until I needed to top up on food that I started feeling worse. That, and I hadn't had my Irn Bru fix yet, which always cures a hangover. But of course, by time I went for my break, the hangover was in full swing and there was no stopping it. That night I managed to walk into doors, walls, trip over nothing, spill water.... the list goes on.

And of course, by time I finished work at 2am, my hangover was gone

Hangovers can be a right twisted bitch sometimes