Dubstep Cat

This has to be the funniest thing I have seen in a long time! I have never laughed so hard.

Definitely want a cat like this!

Kingdom Hearts II

So, for the past week and a half I have non stop been playing KH2. It got really addictive. I found myself coming home from work at 2am and switching on old faithful (my 11 year old PS2) and playing that game until I realized I would only get 5 hour sleep if I didn't go to bed.

I had gotten so far before I needed my flatmate Keith to interfere. I had got up to the level where I had to defeat this pain in the ass guy who kept saying "dance water dance!" over and over again. Well, he kicked my ass royally and after hearing him repeat the same thing and getting beaten countless times, I called in the big guns. Keith told me the reason why I was getting my ass kicked was because I hadn't been using any of the HP boost things or adding any abilities to my character and gave me trouble for not paying attention. Well, I'm sorry, but when I'm playing a game, I want to play the game, not stare at a TV reading!

DANCE WATER, DANCE!

The rest of the game became more like a battle for me. A battle to complete the game quickly so I could A) Get some sleep, B) catch up on my housework and C) to be able to brag to my brother that I completed a game in just over a week.

Soon enough, it came to the last level. I felt quite proud of myself. I had never gotten to the end of a game without using cheats or a guide or in the space of nearly 2 weeks. Unfortunately, I wish I had seen a guide because I was unaware that once you started that level, you wouldn't be able to save and would have to endure in 4 battles. The hardest one was the 2nd battle (I think, it was all a blur).

It was soo annoying. I kept on dying. And when I thought I had nearly won, something new would happen and I would die. At one point, the guy was one hit away from dying and before I could give him the deathly blow, he killed me. My reaction was pretty much like this.

After screaming and swearing like a possessed demon, I remembered Keith was sleeping in the next room and it was 3am. So I had to contain my rage and rapidly press buttons like a mofo.

And then I won. And after 2 more easy(ish) battles, I had completed the game

But what to play now?

The Hair Incident

So I know it's Hallowe'en tomorrow, but I remembered this episode and it made me laugh - big time! So I thought I'd share it. (Sorry for laughing at your expense Amy, but you'll admit it's funny now)

This little post takes place at my old house at Christmas time in the late 90s/early 00s. Like most children at Christmas, my siblings and I were so freaking excited that Santa had come and left us presents and we could finally open ALL the presents that had been taunting us for weeks. On this particular day, we were up by 4am and had to wait until our parents got up, which was usually between 8 and 9am. The wait was painful, but well worth it.

After ripping all the presents open in a hurricane force in record time, our Mam told us to go and play upstairs. It's funny how Christmas is the only day of the year where you don't want to give a child chocolate as they are already dangerously hyper.

 We dragged our toys and scurried upstairs. After showing off what each of us got, my sister, Amy, showed me a brush she got.  We both thought, since it was a special looking brush, it must do something special. It must curl the hair, we concluded. Taking her hair, I wrapped the brush around it. We had seen our Granny do something similar with her hair to curl it. We had the right technique, just the wrong equipment. That's when the trouble began. That's when we realised a fatal flaw.

 (Remember, we were young, around 10-ish, and incredibly dumb)

In a state of panic, I began to pull at the brush, hoping it would wriggle free. But it only made things worse. It got even more tangled up.  I knew I'd be in big trouble if I went to our parents, so I continued to pull. By this point Amy has crying because, well there was a brush stuck in her hair. Feeling defeated, we seeked out help from our parents.

When my parents saw what I'd done they were pretty anger, to say the least. When our Mam said they would have to cut the brush out, Amy's eyes widened with terror. That would've meant a haircut like a boy, and she had long hair. Luckily, it didn't come to that as our Dad managed to get the brush out. It was very touch and go for a while. To say everyone was relieved when he untangled the brush was an understatement. And luckily for me this happened on Christmas day and with everything happening, it was forgotten about pretty quickly.

So moral of the story is: Don't Leave Children Unattended!

Bringing Smileys Into Real Life

The other day, my friend Sarah (Velvet Cupcakes) and I were talking on MSN. Nothing in particular just random crap and sharing things we had found funny on the internet. We have this thing where we use little smiley faces after every word to make the conversation more entertain able. So if we were listening to music, we would write the lyrics like so...                                        

 
 Ok, you may not find it funny, but we did (because we're awesome and have a weird sense of humour)
Then we began to complain that conversations were in "real life" were boring because we couldn't use any smileys to express ourselves or to make awkward moments ones of entertainment. Yes we could use our expressions, but why would we want to when we could use smileys?
Here's another example of what I mean...

People could invent clothes which can detect what you're feeling and project it onto the front of your clothes. You could make codes like "sad face" and a smiley of sad face will appear on your top. I mean we can get clothes with lights on it so surely it can't be too difficult to do, right?

Thanks Sarah for the pic!

Super Mario World

Have you ever played a game where you matter what you do, you still suck at it? Well that's what I'm like with Super Mario World. Yesterday, my flatmate Sian suggested we give the game another go. Hoping it wouldn't be a repeat of the last times we've played it I agreed.

The Super Mario World game is on the Super Nintendo Entertainment System, or SNES and the game was originally released in 1990. It's weird to think this is what gaming in the early 90s was like. It should be in a gaming museum! 

Oh course, when picking who was who, Sian picked to be the hero Mario, the one loves and adores which left me stuck with Luigi, the one no-one really cares about but is forced to like cause it's Mario's brother.

So basically the way we play the game is Sian does all the hard work and gets passed all the levels while I do the same level over and over again and use up all the lives. Once in a blue moon I will complete a level which makes me feel all "haha I'm better than you" only to die at the next level. Or I'll get really far and as something bad is about to happen, and I mean 5 seconds before death, Sian will yelp out for my to watch out on something, which cause me to jump and Luigi to die.

Then it comes for Act 2 of how we play, Sian starts to get bad. Which prompts me to laugh, which she gets mad about (she's a very violent gamer). Then it becomes a competition on easy levels like who can get the most mushrooms. Then the final act is when I get soo angry at dying I give up and laugh at Sian's failures.

Quote Of The Day

Sian: "I'm just as pretty as a peach"
Me: "Yer and as sour as a lemon"

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Smoking - The Easy Way To Give up

After trying the patches, trying to go "cold turkey" I thought I would be condemned to smoking forever! However, due to certain events in my life I have managed to give it up, all thanks to the Job Centre!

How did I manage that you may wonder? Well, quitting smoking wasn't planned, it was forced. Heres a few steps on how to be smoke free

1) Leave your job voluntarily, move away with hardly any money

2) Apply to get Job Seekers Allowance. Once you have done this, you should get one payment which is made fortnightly. Basically all you will be able to afford is food - no luxuries! Saying that, I did buy 10 packs, just to keep me going.

3) Your next payment will be halved and you Job Seekers Allowance will be closed because you left you job voluntarily. You will need to apply for a hardship thing, which will take about a month.

So buy time you get money, You would have either starved to death (which may happen to me) or have lived of cigarettes. If you haven't had the luxury to afford them, then you would have been forced to go cold turkey for nearly 2 months without the temptation to buy (cause you have no money) and after a few weeks even the smell makes you gag!

Note: Experiences may differ :P

The Move

They all say that moving can be a stressful time. Trying to organise all your stuff and neatly pack them into boxes, make sure you haven't left anything and once that's all done, you can relax until that stressful move. Unfortunately, my move from the cold island of Shetland to the bright lights of Edinburgh wasn't so blissful.

My last week in Shetland began on the Monday. I had left my job the day before and I had a thousand things to do before I was on the boat on Thursday. On Monday was my little sisters birthday, so I had to go over and see her. On the Tuesday, my flatmate Sian told me the next day she would come and pick my stuff up, so I better have packed everything. I hadn't quite packed everything, in fact I had only packed a box. After hours of packing, my old room looked so bare, however there was still some of my stuff lying around which I wasn't taking.

On the day of my move, which was also pay day, I booked my ticket for the boat. Not having much sleep the night before (I only had a stupid thin blanket with holes in it) I was pretty tired. Then I got my phone bill and most of my money went to that. Saying goodbye to my friends, I took my two bags and suitcases and boarded onto the boat.

12 hours later...

The boat docked at Aberdeen. I struggled off the boat. Pushing the button on the lift, I noticed it was out of order. So I had to drag all my heavy luggage down a flight of stairs. My unlucky strike was only just beginning.

Once I was outside, I realised I had NO idea how to get to the bus terminal. I knew where it was, it was just how to get there. I also hadn't anticipated how far the walk and how heavy my luggage was. After eventually getting directions, I got there. I bought my ticket and found a "hole in the wall". Looking at my bank balance, I realised I only had £10 left...great.

Getting on the bus was a bit of a disaster. I was constantly worried that I would miss my stop, or get off somewhere where I wasn't meant to. It was a disaster.

Luckily for me my friend Sarah met me at the bus stop to help me get to the housing place to get the keys and help me with the luggage. Thank god for her help! Unfortunately, my flat and the housing place were at opposite sides of the city. Not only that, I was dying from the heat, it was freezing when I left Shetland and not being able to change, I had to keep my hoody on.

So after taking a lot of buses (and with a little help from Google Maps) we eventually got to my flat. I thought my unlucky strike was over. How very wrong was I! One of the locks was jammed and we had to wait outside my flat for over an hour waiting to get in. Although, we did have fun playing I spy

From that moment on I vowed never to move ever again (well, not so far anyway)

Me Vs The Pumpkin

So a couple of days ago my flatmate asked me to help her with the cooking. If you haven't tasted my cooking you should consider yourself lucky. I'm soo bad, I've set bacon on fire. Anyhoo, she asked me to help her with the peeling, so not something so important. The potatoes and sweet potato were done surprising easily. Then, came the pumpkin

Round 1
Having never craved a pumpkin before, I didn't really know what to expect. I was under the impression that it would be as easy as the potatoes. How very wrong I was.
The peeler slipped off the skin of the pumpkin and slapped my arm on the ground. Not putting off by this I tried again, and failed.

Getting slightly more annoyed now, I tried to be more forceful. Ha! I was beginning to work, or so I thought. As I was peeling a tiny bit of its skin, the peeler slipped and cut me. Round 1 to the pumpkin.

Round 2
After a brief time out and bandaging the cut, I went in for the second round. This time, I would be tactful, cunning even. I stood, watching the pumpkin, thinking how
I would peel the pumpkin quickly. Holding on to one end of the pumpkin, I began stabbing the peeler into the skin and soon enough, off it would come.

Round 3
After getting pretty tired from doing a quarter of the skin (yes I'm that weak, a kitten could beat me up) I decided to re-think my strategy. Then, like a lightbulb going off above me head, I had it. Stabbing the pumpkin in the middle and using it as a handle, I could use the other one to peel quickly! And it worked!

Heres a pic of after the whole ordeal, I certainly got job satisfaction whilst cleaning that up

Oops, I did it again

Yet again I've done it. ¬¬

It's been the 3rd time in a month... I've cocked up my sleeping pattern. It may not seem so tragic, but to me, it is! If I fall asleep now, chances are I will sleep in until 4pm then be up until 9am before I go to bed and this pattern will repeat until I'm so tired I'm emotional. I could set an alarm, however, when that goes off, only one eye opens it to search for the alarm only to switch it off to fall back asleep.

So, my only choice is to stay up until 9pm tonight at the latest so I can get back into my pattern. Unfortunately for my flat mates, I will be tired, cranky and quite emotional. I was so tired once I nearly cried because there was no water in the kettle for me coffee. But that sadness turned into a whirlwind of rage. They evacuated the flat for a couple of hours after that

I think I may feed my fishes now(virtual ones of course!)

Cleaning: The lazy sods guide to getting out of it.

If you are anything like some of the flatmates I have had past and present you will no doubt have learnt the art of not cleaning. Yes maybe you have had the sudden motivation to clean only because someone important like a parent or a "buddy" is coming over and you don't want to show you live like a slob.

But for the most part, cleaning is almost a sinful activity for you. You'd rather be doing something worth-while with your time like, lying on the bed counting sheep.
However, when it comes to being forced to clean, there are 3 ways to get out of doing it forever!

1) You find someone to live with who's a clean freak, basically a Monica. Everything has to be clean 24/7. The Monica's have a certain way of cleaning, if its not done in their way its not done properly.

2) When being asked to clean something minor, i.e. a cup, you make a big fuss about it and come up with an excuse, "Oh I have an essay which needs to be handed in in the next 10 minutes and I haven't started yet" and do the "sudden realisation panic attack" look. However there is a time when this fails

3) You do a terrible job of cleaning. And I mean really terrible, pathetic even. This really irritates the Monica's a lot! Pretend you're a robot and you're running low on battery and the only function you can do properly is breathe and doing anything else is a massive compromise. If done correctly, you will only have to repeat this stage on average 3 times and will never be asked again.

Note of Caution
- Please note the Monica, whether it be your friend or parent may go into a fit of rage but usually finding a way into their soft spot will prevent that.

- Whatever you do, DO NOT use the phrase "it's not my mess why should I clean it" or anything similar. This will enrage a Monica and you will regret it! Unless you want to hear a massive long rant, I'd advise against it.