Santa is....GAY

I saw this and thought I'd reshare. The author makes some interesting points and it does make you think, is our beloved fat man a gay man?

"I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe Santa's gay. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a straight man could possibly pull it all off! For starters, think about the planning that goes into an event like Christmas. Even Martha Stewart is envious.

Straight men have day jobs, so they wouldn't have time to stand at the local shopping malls and ring a bell all day. But if you're a gay, out-of-work Actor/Dancer/Waiter it's the perfect gig until you get your big break. Also, if he were straight he would have picked a more masculine animal than the reindeer to get him around, like horses or oxen, but the reindeer just happens to appeal to Santa's inherent sense of grace and beauty. And those names: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen? Fill in the blanks."

"Mrs. Claus has been married to him for eons and he's never fathered a child with her, she's over-weight and still content... Can you say "Fag-hag"? 

Ever thought about the Rudolph story? He's gay too! "All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games." (as if he wanted to). Isn't Rudolph really a metaphor for the gay child in a straight society anyway? 

Ever ask yourself why fruitcake is the traditional dessert at Christmas time? Well, now you know. And stop pretending you don't like it. Deep down inside, you've always liked fruitcake. 

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a straight man: 

* Look at the size of the bag he packs for a one night trip!

* Red velvet, fur collar, black engineer boots... think people!

* Physically he's a wet dream for the Girth and Mirth club and the perfect poster model for GMSMA.

* Gay men have long been using stockings to hide their candy.

* Ho Ho / Homo... a little too similar if you ask me. 

* That long over-night flight around the world taps into the flight attendant gene. And one more thing, did you ever know a straight man named Nicholas? Oh, straight society has tried to butch up his image by calling him St. Nick, but we know better. It's Nicholas, damn it! Ms. Claus if you're nasty."

Merry Christmas! 

Yup, it's still snowing...

On Monday we got the worst snow storm I've seen in a while. It started to snow at 7.30am and didn't stop until 3 in the afternoon and caused chaos to the UK. Everything stopped working, cars were getting stuck, buses weren't going, businesses and schools closed and planes were grounded. I got the lucky task of walking home in the snow. After many slips, falls and cutting myself on the fence, I eventually got home, nearly 3 hours later...

During my walk I noticed how everything seemed more peaceful, even though all the drivers were probably stressed out about driving in the snow. The only good thing about the snow is it makes everything more peaceful.

However, for most of my walk home I was in a fury of rage. How dare it make civilisation come to a halt. I would've gladly have welcomed the snow when I was younger for days off school (however saying that, my school never closed) but now I was part of the working society and the snow slowed everything down.

The storm which brought civilisation in the UK to it's knees

That's when I realised its not the weather we should blame, its mankind. We know from previous experience and generations that snow causes everything to not work so, why haven't we invented vehicles/aircraft that can still work during snow? I mean, we have invented self-flushing toilets that speak and self cleaning ovens so why haven't we invented a snow proof vehicle? It would make a lot of sense, it would mean there would be no disruptions in your normal day life and instead of panicking about driving in the snow and wondering if the roads were bad you wouldn't notice it.

Maybe those smart guys haven't invented it so when it does snow, they can call into work to say they got snowed in. If that's the cause, you guys suck ¬¬

40 Questions

Since its coming to the end of the year, I thought I would answer these 40 questions thing. I stole it off of Sarah :)

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Make coffee using a coffee machine!

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No I didn't keep mine (who does?) and I'll probably make a few more and not keep them next year

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No-one close to me but a few people I know did

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope

5. What countries did you visit?
None outside the UK

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Haha money!

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory?

March 15th - Sian's birthday party in Aberdeen,
July 3rd - my 21st,
August 16th - my last shift at Flints,
 August 21st - the day I moved to Edinburgh,
October 15th - the day Sian put me in A&E,
November 1st - the day I started my new job.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I suppose moving away and getting a job

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being able to go home for Xmas

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My mp3 player! Can't imagine life without it!

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
I dunno

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Won't say

14. Where did most of your money go?
Food and bills - sad times! And nights out! :D

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My 21st and moving to Edinburgh

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2010?
Umm Alejandro, Telephone, Rude Boy, Candy haha

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

happier or sadder? Happier
thinner or fatter? Thinner
richer or poorer? Poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Gone out more with my friends!

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Wasted money

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Alone in Edinburgh, working

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
Sian and my family

22. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Nope

23. How many one night stands in this last year?
Haha! Ummm...

24. What was your favourite TV program?
Glee

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Don't think so

26. What was the best book(s) you read?
Of Mice and Men

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Its between Lady Gaga and Rihanna

28. What did you want and get?
To move to Edinburgh

29. What did you want and not get?
Money

30. What were your favourite films of this year?
Boy in the striped pyjamas

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 21 and I had a party in which everyone got dressed up as anything they wanted. The top bar was all decorated with banners and old pictures of me and we ate cake! It was a nice surprise but I can't remember much after that :)

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Moving to Edinburgh and sharing a flat with two wonderful people!

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Out dated haha.

34. What kept you sane?
My friends and family

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I can't think of one!

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I don't really get into politics

37. Who did you miss?
Some friends still up in Shetland

38. Who was the best new person you met?
A few people from my old work and my new work!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Always come prepared

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
"I left my head and my heart on the dancefloor"

The German Market

A couple of weeks ago, I joined my friends for the annual opening of the German Market and the Christmas lights getting switched on in Edinburgh. Luckily for us, the market opened a few days before the snow started so at least we weren't slipping on the snow. It was a spectacular show, five men dangling on wire for... well I don't really know why they were on the wire, maybe they were decorating the tree or something, but we all watched in awe as the spotlights followed them up high.

We all decided it would be fun to get Mulled Wine, but it turned out only Sarah and I got any. As we waited in the que for ages, the fireworks went off. After a few minutes watching the pretty colours in the sky, we got bored and concentrated solely on getting the wine. After paying the £2 deposit for a cup (which was quite ugly) and another £3.50, we finally got our wine and took a victory sip. After a couple more sips, we had both given them to other people.

The market was absolutely packed. Trying to get from one end to the other was a challenge. It took us a long time. As we were making some progress through the crowd, I realised we were all walking like penguins, slowly marching along and all huddling together trying to get warm. In this case however, we were all trying to get to our destinations and would push and shove people out of the way to get there.

A few days later, Sian and I decided to have another look at the market. This time, we got to see everything and had enough room to "swing a cat around". It was also covered in snow so it felt a tad bit more Christmasey.

 We decided it would be fun to go on the Ferris Wheel. It was fun until Sian decided to turn the cage around (there was a wheel in the middle of the cage which you could spin to see at all angles). It made a creeking sound and started to vibrate. For something that had only been up for a few days startled us. That was when we noticed the rust on it. We had to go around another 3 times before it stopped to let us off.

Notice how I'm holding on for dear life!

There was also a Wii tent too. We got to play some Wii games for free. Unfortunately it confirmed what I already knew, that I suck at Nintendo games. Only Nintendo games (apart from Monkey Ball!). There was also an ice rink but I wasn't going to pay £8 to fall on my ass when I could do it for free.

Overall, the market is a lot of fun! I wish there was something similar like that in Shetland, but saying that it would've been just another market and not as fun as it has been!

Let It Snow...

The snow has come! And a month earlier than last year too. I have a hate/love relationship with snowy weather, as I'm sure most people my age and older do. I say hate/love because the hates outweigh the loves. Snow, its pretty to look at from the comfort of your home, but as soon as you have to go out in it, its a bitch.

When we were younger, we loved it when it snowed. If it snowed lots then it meant there was a chance the schools would be closed and we would have days off if it snowed bad enough, to play in the snow and make snowmen, have snow ball fights and go sledging.

Don't get me wrong. I do like the snow. I still love having snowball fights, making snowmen and watching it snow from the warmth of my house. But as soon as I am forced to go out in it to go to work, I hate it. No matter how warmly I dress or how many layers of clothes I put on, I'm chilled to the bone. Then the wind blows the snow in my face and I can't see where I'm going. By time I get to my destination, I'm covered in snow and irritated.

All I need in this picture is a snowman

If the snow's really bad, none of the buses can go because the roads are blocked. That's a big pain. Then there's the walking in the snow. Talk about slip and slide. I hate the ice and the slush! It makes me look so ungraceful when walking, almost like I'm drunk. Another bad thing about the snow is it makes the flat freezing constantly.

However saying all that, there's something Christmasey when it snows when its drawing near Christmas. Yesterday I was almost tempted to put up my Christmas tree up because of the snow. But then I realised it was a tad bit early for that. It has certainly put me in a Christmasey mood! I think that's mainly because I haven't heard any Christmas related songs or seen any TV adverts... yet!

Is My Place of Work Out To Get Me?

I think my work hates me. Not the people who work there, they're great, but the actual building. I think the place is out to get me and laughs at me when I hurt myself. I came to this conclusion 2 nights ago. I was cleaning the cloakroom and as I was taking a box off the top shelf, a glass panel which was on top of it (hidden) fell and smacked me right in the face. It broke and I ended up with a fat lip. And I had just started work.

As I sat there holding ice to my lip, that's when I started to realise either I was just really clumsy or, my place of work was out to get me. This past week has gotten worse. At first, all I would get was static shocks each time I opened the cutlery drawers. Every time without fail. Then I started getting static shocks off of tables, chairs, walls, to name a few. I've also given people static shocks. Maybe because I'm drinking so much coffee I'm actually starting to generate energy!

Then there's that bloody coffee machine. Every time I go to use it I end up getting burned. I try to be careful but the machine doesn't care. I have more burn marks than I can count.

Maybe I'm just really unfortunate or there's a paranormal activity style thing happening to me. (Woah as I typed that there was a really loud bang inside my flat!) I've only been there not even a month. Does the hotel play games with the newbies, or will it get worse, the injuries get more bizarre?

I hope it's the first one

La actualización general de segundo

If you didn't know what the title of this post its the second general update! It's in Spanish! I was trying out my new translator app on my blackberry and it seems to work :)

Super Monkey Ball!
This may be the greatest game in the world (and the only game I'm still really good at). And I have rediscovered it's greatness! I had previously discovered this game over 9 years ago when it first came out. It was one of the pointless games where there was no storyline or special missions. You're a monkey in a big ball and had to collect bananas (I think the developers had a sick mind haha) and if you went over the edge you died.

You got to unlock 'mini games' which were better than the main play of the game. One of them was you got to fly around and land on these floats in the middle of the ocean. Thanks to Nicky for re-introducing me to the game! It feels so good to be great at a game that Sian sucks at :P

The flying bit!

Gossip Girl
I will admit it, I am now addicted to Gossip Girl now, although its a love-hate situation. It was Sian who got me into it. I thought it would be a lot of crap, I only agreed to watch the first 5 episodes so Sian would let me watch the new Family Guy. I half heartedly watch the first 2 episodes and then I couldn't stop. I'm now at the beginning of season 4, managed to go through 3 seasons in under a week! It's kinda sad really.

The one thing I don't like about it is they are too over the top! And they keep dating and breaking up with each other! You live in New York, they are more people there to date. And Serena what is up with your hair? I'm sure you can afford a brush!

Payday!
A week today, I will receive my first pay cheque since August! It's so exciting!I have missed being able to buy  things, any things! I will no longer be under house arrest as I call it and will be able to go out with my own money and buy food! That's the one thing I can't wait for!

 Oh btw, its a bad idea to watch Gossip Girl when you're broke, they practically wipe their own asses with money and spend it like money grows on trees... just imagine that! However would that mean in the winter time everyone would be broke?

Everyone would have one in their garden

Christmas
Christmas is drawing closer and I'm getting pretty excited. One month and 2 days! (You can work out how many days) The lights are going up in the streets and shops are starting to look all pretty with their decorations and there's a Ferris Wheel on Prince's Street for some German Market which lasts the whole of December apparently.

Like I said, I'm quite excited. I think it's because I'll be away from home during Christmas and I'm somewhere new. Spending Christmas alone isn't ideal, but I'll just work and have a takeaway for my Christmas dinner - it'll be my alternative xmas :)

You got 3 pictures in this post! Aren't I nice? I haven't even had a coffee yet!